The Beloved Space
Forever finding my way back
Hi, I’m Sarah Jo
I have a husband, a house, a business, and a blue heeler.
I have so many things. And yet, here I am. Looking. Seeking. Trying to find the place I feel like my whole self.
I wish I didn’t have bipolar disorder. I wish I was steady and reliable and consistent. I wish I didn’t have to contain my moods to make others comfortable. I wish I could fine a place to be…all of me.
I don’t need a place to find nice words or inspiration. I don’t need a place to be impressive. I don’t need a place to put a polish on my daily life.
I need this space. This beloved space where I can be raw, vulnerable, and completely ridiculous. And every time I find this place, I realize it’s exactly where I am, have been, and will be.
You are welcome here, but please know, what fits nicely on me might be a bit snug around your shoulders. Exploring your mental health can feel strange. Don’t be surprised if you find my words uncomfortable.
With that in mind…
I hope I can help you. I hope my struggles help you see you aren’t alone. I hope my failures and successes are yours. I hope you can cry with me, laugh with me, and feel incredibly uncomfortable with me.
If you are living with mental illness, start here. If you love someone living with a mental illness, start here. And if you don’t like my work, please file your complaints here.
Read
Subject: We keep running into each other
And Again, I Weave: Reflections on a Mind Disrupted
2016: The Year of Being Good at Being Bad
Fighting with an Empath
Just Be Sick
The dark days
Three Days Crazy: Day 2
This is part 3 of the Three Days Crazy series. I waited by the breakfast cart while the nice african man called names. My eyes scanned the room, analyzing my options for seating. The inmates were still grouped off at a table, they seemed to be acquainted from...
Falling in Love – Again
Here’s the thing about getting back together with an ex boyfriend. You really shouldn’t. At least that’s what I was telling myself after grabbing lunch with my ex. The conversation had gone well, civil and only a little cold. It was the hug...
Three Days Crazy: Night 1
This is the second installment of my Three Days Crazy series. You can read the first installment here. I stopped crying long enough to notice how hungry I was. I had no idea what time it was, the small rooms didn’t have clocks and my cell phone was locked away,...
Three Days Crazy: Day 1
When I finally made the decision to open my eyes, I was rewarded by a blinding light. I rolled over and grabbed for my soft down comforter. Instead, my hand found a rough knit blanket. Dread washed up my throat and into my mouth. I remembered where I was. I heard a...
Living With Mental Illness
Unfortunately, mental illness isn’t often something you beat. You can’t fix it or medicate it away. There’s a lot of talk about how to ask for help, how to prevent suicide, but I haven’t found much on how to live with your demons. Because my...
Married and Depressed: I Lost The Man of My Dreams
When I was 18, I met the love of my life. My soul mate, if you’re into that kind of thing. I met him on his 18th birthday, the day before his high school graduation. I had just finished my first year of college and was an absolute disaster of a human. But that...
I’m Back, Bitches
I’ve started working with a life coach, her name is Madison and she rocks. If you’ve ever wanted to go from a moderately awesome life to an extra awesome life, you should consider chatting with her. Anyway, the one meeting I’ve had with her has...
Not a Positive Blog Post
I’m sure you’ve noticed the drop off in posts coming from this side of town. Or maybe you haven’t and I just think I’m more important than I really am. I’ve been busy trying new things that scare me. I’ve been putting myself out...
A Strange Addiction
I’m finding myself bored. So. Incredibly. Bored. Even amidst life changes and stressful events, my brain is anxiously awaiting something exciting to happen. I’ve developed the strangest addiction. I’m an adrenaline junkie. I read somewhere...
I’m Jealous of Balloons
I’m having a rough day. I’m tired and overwhelmed. I made my second cup of coffee today with a cup of coffee. You heard me. I poured coffee back through the coffee maker. It just felt necessary. Technically what I’m experiencing today is a mixed...
Performing Brain Surgery: Part 1
Believe it or not, you can change the way your brain works. Certain thinking exercises can actually change the way your brain handles inputs. Like what. Isn’t that amazing!?!?! One of the first things I learned when I was hospitalized, was the existence...
Guest Post: Ashtyn’s Story
Hi friends! Today, my friend Ashtyn will be sharing her story. She reached out to me a few weeks ago and I was blessed with the chance to help her face the hardest decisions she will ever make. She’s been bold, vulnerable, and unwavering in her commitment to get...
Re: Money
Because my husband and I are masochists, we bought a house, got married, renovated said house, I quit my job, and he started a whole new one, all within a few months. And while we were prepared for the halt in income flow from my side of town, it didn’t change...
Married and Depressed: Part 2
My husband walks into a carnival. He sees all these rides, ferris wheels, roller coasters, game booths, all in varying degrees of fun/risk/danger. He walks over to the biggest and scariest roller coaster and asks the man in charge for a ticket. The man in charge...