The Beloved Space

Forever finding my way back

Hi, I’m  Sarah Jo

I have a husband, a house, a business, and a blue heeler.
I have so many things. And yet, here I am. Looking. Seeking. Trying to find the place I feel like my whole self.

I wish I didn’t have bipolar disorder. I wish I was steady and reliable and consistent. I wish I didn’t have to contain my moods to make others comfortable. I wish I could fine a place to be…all of me.

I don’t need a place to find nice words or inspiration. I don’t need a place to be impressive.  I don’t need a place to put a polish on my daily life.

I need this space. This beloved space where I can be raw, vulnerable, and completely ridiculous. And every time I find this place, I realize it’s exactly where I am, have been, and will be.

You are welcome here, but please know, what fits nicely on me might be a bit snug around your shoulders. Exploring your mental health can feel strange. Don’t be surprised if you find my words uncomfortable.

With that in mind…

I hope I can help you. I hope my struggles help you see you aren’t alone. I hope my failures and successes are yours. I hope you can cry with me, laugh with me, and feel incredibly uncomfortable with me.

If you are living with mental illness, start here. If you love someone living with a mental illness, start here. And if you don’t like my work, please file your complaints here.

Read

Coping with a Covert Narcissist

Coping with a Covert Narcissist It didn't start how I expected. It started with good intentions, as most things do. It started with patience and understanding. At least on my end. I extended and extended until I could extend no more.  I felt defeated and dumb and...

Subject: We keep running into each other

18, 25 Subject: We keep running into each other I hope it’s ok that I’m emailing you. It seems like I keeprunning into you and I feel like it’s time I say something. I know you want your space, and I get that, but I have to get this off my chest. Sarah, I am so sorry...

2016: The Year of Being Good at Being Bad

2016: The Year of Being Good at Being Bad 2016, by all accounts, hasn’t been a great year for me. Not to sound ungrateful, but I for real screwed a lot of things up this year. I was really bad. Here are some things I'm bad at: *Deep inhale* I’m bad at self-discipline....

Fighting with an Empath

Fighting with an Empath There is a recent fascination with labeling people as empaths. There are all these lists like "20 ways to love an empath," or "10 reasons you should marry an empath." I'm sure you've read seen them floating around. And not to knock them,...

Just Be Sick

I was scrolling through insta the other day and was bombarded with encouraging messages. Which, I'm sure for normal people, is an awesome thing. I'm sure it gets them pumped up and stoked to tackle the day. I assume they become super charged with each sparkly graphic...

The dark days

Climb a mountain to only move a inch. Claw, scrape, dig fingernails in dark, dark, dark dirt. Falling. Failing. Slipping. Once as easy as a wish, moves slow, viscous like honey, but not sweet. Bitter and familiar, this battle. Aching, aching, aching, climbing,...

Three Days Crazy: Day 2

This is part 3 of the Three Days Crazy series.  I waited by the breakfast cart while the nice african man called names. My eyes scanned the room, analyzing my options for seating. The inmates were still grouped off at a table, they seemed to be acquainted from...

Falling in Love – Again

Here's the thing about getting back together with an ex boyfriend. You really shouldn't. At least that's what I was telling myself after grabbing lunch with my ex. The conversation had gone well, civil and only a little cold. It was the hug afterwards, outside the BBQ...

Living With Mental Illness

Unfortunately, mental illness isn't often something you beat. You can't fix it or medicate it away. There's a lot of talk about how to ask for help, how to prevent suicide, but I haven't found much on how to live with your demons. Because my bipolar, my depression,...

I’m Back, Bitches

I've started working with a life coach, her name is Madison and she rocks. If you've ever wanted to go from a moderately awesome life to an extra awesome life, you should consider chatting with her. Anyway, the one meeting I've had with her has already blown up my...

Not a Positive Blog Post

I'm sure you've noticed the drop off in posts coming from this side of town. Or maybe you haven't and I just think I'm more important than I really am. I've been busy trying new things that scare me. I've been putting myself out there and I've felt the sharp sting of...

A Strange Addiction

I'm finding myself bored. So. Incredibly. Bored. Even amidst life changes and stressful events, my brain is anxiously awaiting something exciting to happen. I've developed the strangest addiction. I'm an adrenaline junkie. I read somewhere (how's that for a citation)...

I’m Jealous of Balloons

I'm having a rough day. I'm tired and overwhelmed. I made my second cup of coffee today with a cup of coffee. You heard me. I poured coffee back through the coffee maker. It just felt necessary. Technically what I'm experiencing today is a mixed episode of bipolar....

Guest Post: Ashtyn’s Story

Hi friends! Today, my friend Ashtyn will be sharing her story. She reached out to me a few weeks ago and I was blessed with the chance to help her face the hardest decisions she will ever make. She's been bold, vulnerable, and unwavering in her commitment to get...

Re: Money

Because my husband and I are masochists, we bought a house, got married, renovated said house, I quit my job, and he started a whole new one, all within a few months. And while we were prepared for the halt in income flow from my side of town, it didn't change the...

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